Danny Kryptonite's Top 131 Reasons Why Truest Winners Suxx (4/5 based on 4 votes)
  1. nobody ever checks it or adds new lists
  2. i want attention
  3. look at me!
  4. come on guys, look at me! i'm doing stuff!
  5. so anyway, since nobody ever looks at this shitty website, i have nobody to give me the attention i so richly deserve
  6. also, i got dunked on 4-5 weeks ago
  7. and i never get any sex
  8. waaaahhhhhhh....sniffle
  9. no... i'm not going to cry. not right now.
  10. -sobs violently-
  11. waaaaahhhhhh...sniff, sniff..
  12. -tears-
  13. -regains composure-
  14. i just feel like nobody loves me
  15. but you guys love me, right?
  16. < >
  17. right?
  18. < >
  19. guys?
  20. < >
  21. -tear rolls down cheek-
  22. i knew it.... shit.
  23. i'm going to go see my counselor
  24. -goes to counselor-
  25. Counselor: So you're back.
  26. Danny: Yes. I thought i was OK but i'm not.
  27. Counselor: what's up?
  28. Danny: I don't know, counselor. I really don't. It just seems like every time things are going well, they just...i don't know
  29. Counselor: What happened?
  30. Danny: -shrugs- Nothing HAPPENED. I mean, I just feel awful. I don't know what the fuck i'm doing here.
  31. Counselor: -furrows brow- you're here because i can help you work through your feelings. i can only do that if you talk to me
  32. Danny: No, that's not what i mean. I don't know what the fuck i'm doing HERE. - moves hands in a circular motion-
  33. Counselor: i'm not sure i get your meaning
  34. Danny: Like, on the planet. I don't know what i'm doing here. It's like, i'm an alien or something
  35. Counselor: tell me about this feeling
  36. Danny: everywhere i go i feel like i don't belong.
  37. Counselor: explore that feeling.
  38. Danny: -looks askance at counselor- it's like i never know what the fuck to do with my life
  39. Counselor: yes, go on. this feeling could be important
  40. Danny: look, would you cut the new age psychoanalytic hippie bullshit and LISTEN to me? for christ's sake
  41. Counselor: -withdraws- ...excuse me?
  42. Danny: nevermind, sorry. Maybe i shouldn't be here.
  43. Counselor: no, let's work through this
  44. Danny: -takes a deep breath- ok, let's try again.
  45. Counselor: so what is the problem?
  46. Danny: i feel really alone and confused
  47. Counselor: how long have you felt this way?
  48. Danny: All my life, i guess. but sometimes the loneliness seems more pervasive and suffocating than at other times
  49. Counselor: and right now it is pervasive and suffocating?
  50. Danny: yeah, right now it is. certain things trigger it.
  51. Counselor: like what?
  52. Danny: i don't know, just certain things
  53. Counselor: well what triggered it this time?
  54. Danny: -takes a deep breath- well, there's this web site.
  55. Counselor: -picks up a glass of water, takes a drink-
  56. Danny: it's called truestwinners.com. i just...
  57. Counselor: tell me about that feeling
  58. Danny: you're not even listening to me
  59. Counselor: I am too!
  60. Danny: No you aren't. what did i just say?
  61. Counselor: -furrows his brow- you were talking about your feelings
  62. Danny: no i wasn't.
  63. Counselor: well, maybe you should have been.
  64. Danny: you son of a bitch. i can't believe i pay you for this shit
  65. Counselor: -shrugs-
  66. Danny: -sits up- my life is such a mess.
  67. Counselor: -watches-
  68. Danny: Why? I'm so stupid...
  69. -suddenly eveything is in black and white, counselor disappears, Danny is in a prison cell-
  70. Danny: Why? (yelling)
  71. Danny's outcries echo off the prison walls
  72. Danny: Why?
  73. Danny approaches prison wall, makes his hands into fists
  74. Danny: Why? -punches wall-
  75. Danny: Why? - punches wall-
  76. Danny: Why? Why? Why? Why? -punching wall with full force-
  77. Danny: WHY? WHY? WHY?
  78. Danny finally loses stamina, and falls back on the floor, sobbing
  79. < >
  80. the only sound is Danny sobbing
  81. < >
  82. suddenly a telephone rings
  83. telephone: RING!
  84. Danny looks up in surprise, his eyes red and his face tear-stained
  85. telephone: RING!
  86. Danny slowly stands up, looks around for the telephone.
  87. telephone: RING!
  88. Danny spots the telephone, reaches for it and picks it up.
  89. Danny: Hello?
  90. voice on the other end of the line: Hello Danny
  91. Danny: Who is this?
  92. Voice: It's Martin Scorcese
  93. Danny: Martin Scorcese? why are you calling me?
  94. Martin Scorcese: oh, as if you don't know.
  95. Danny: -confused- I'm sorry Martin, I really don't.
  96. Martin Scorcese: Come on, at least have the guts to own up it, you plagarizing bastard.
  97. Danny: I don't know what you're talking about
  98. Martin Scorcese: I bet you don't, son, I bet you don't.
  99. momentary silence. the drip of water can be heard in the dark prison cell
  100. Martin Scorcese: perhaps my friend Robert DeNiro can bring you back to your senses.
  101. Danny: huh?
  102. Martin Scorcese hands the phone to Robert Deniro
  103. Deniro: hey i'm not gonna let some punk kid push us around. spill the beans, jerk.
  104. Danny: I really don't know what you're talking about.
  105. Deniro: Oh you're gonna play the fool? You gonna make me beat it out of you?
  106. Danny: No! I'm sorry, i don't mean to be difficult, i just don't know what it is you want to know
  107. Deniro: -leans over to Scorcese and whispers- maybe he really doesn't know
  108. Martin Scorcese: give me the phone, you ape.
  109. Deniro: Are you talking to me?
  110. Martin Scorcese: shut up, just give me the phone.
  111. Deniro: Are you talking to me? There's nobody else here, i don't see who else you could be talking to.
  112. Scorcese: Give me the phone.
  113. Deniro: Are you talking to me?
  114. Scorcese: -takes the phone- All right kid.
  115. Danny: i'm sorry. what did i do?
  116. Scorcese: you totally stole that prison scene from Raging Bull.
  117. Danny: Prison Scene?
  118. Scorcese: oh for christ's sake. The one where you punched the walls and yelled 'WHY?'
  119. Danny: oh yeah
  120. Scorcese: well you totally stole that from Raging Bull.
  121. Danny: Oh, sorry.
  122. Scorcese: That's it? 'Oh, sorry?'
  123. Danny: well, what do you want me to do?
  124. Scorcese: shut up.
  125. Danny: what? i'm sorry
  126. Scorcese: just shut up.
  127. Scorcese hangs up the phone and turns to Deniro
  128. Scorcese: What a jackass.
  129. Deniro: no kidding.
  130. -back in the prison cell-
  131. Danny: Whatever.
Last Updated: 03/04/2004 1:27pm

Comments regarding this list:
User Date Comment
Matthew 03/12/2004 9:50pm w.t.f.
Danny Kryptonite 03/05/2004 1:51am hahahahahaha
Brian 03/04/2004 10:47pm number 81 should be higher