1. nobody ever checks it or adds new lists
2. i want attention
3. look at me!
4. come on guys, look at me! i'm doing stuff!
5. so anyway, since nobody ever looks at this shitty website, i have nobody to give me the attention i so richly deserve
6. also, i got dunked on 4-5 weeks ago
7. and i never get any sex
8. waaaahhhhhhh....sniffle
9. no... i'm not going to cry. not right now.
10. -sobs violently-
11. waaaaahhhhhh...sniff, sniff..
12. -tears-
13. -regains composure-
14. i just feel like nobody loves me
15. but you guys love me, right?
16. < >
17. right?
18. < >
19. guys?
20. < >
21. -tear rolls down cheek-
22. i knew it.... shit.
23. i'm going to go see my counselor
24. -goes to counselor-
25. Counselor: So you're back.
26. Danny: Yes. I thought i was OK but i'm not.
27. Counselor: what's up?
28. Danny: I don't know, counselor. I really don't. It just seems like every time things are going well, they just...i don't know
29. Counselor: What happened?
30. Danny: -shrugs- Nothing HAPPENED. I mean, I just feel awful. I don't know what the fuck i'm doing here.
31. Counselor: -furrows brow- you're here because i can help you work through your feelings. i can only do that if you talk to me
32. Danny: No, that's not what i mean. I don't know what the fuck i'm doing HERE. - moves hands in a circular motion-
33. Counselor: i'm not sure i get your meaning
34. Danny: Like, on the planet. I don't know what i'm doing here. It's like, i'm an alien or something
35. Counselor: tell me about this feeling
36. Danny: everywhere i go i feel like i don't belong.
37. Counselor: explore that feeling.
38. Danny: -looks askance at counselor- it's like i never know what the fuck to do with my life
39. Counselor: yes, go on. this feeling could be important
40. Danny: look, would you cut the new age psychoanalytic hippie bullshit and LISTEN to me? for christ's sake
41. Counselor: -withdraws- ...excuse me?
42. Danny: nevermind, sorry. Maybe i shouldn't be here.
43. Counselor: no, let's work through this
44. Danny: -takes a deep breath- ok, let's try again.
45. Counselor: so what is the problem?
46. Danny: i feel really alone and confused
47. Counselor: how long have you felt this way?
48. Danny: All my life, i guess. but sometimes the loneliness seems more pervasive and suffocating than at other times
49. Counselor: and right now it is pervasive and suffocating?
50. Danny: yeah, right now it is. certain things trigger it.
51. Counselor: like what?
52. Danny: i don't know, just certain things
53. Counselor: well what triggered it this time?
54. Danny: -takes a deep breath- well, there's this web site.
55. Counselor: -picks up a glass of water, takes a drink-
56. Danny: it's called truestwinners.com. i just...
57. Counselor: tell me about that feeling
58. Danny: you're not even listening to me
59. Counselor: I am too!
60. Danny: No you aren't. what did i just say?
61. Counselor: -furrows his brow- you were talking about your feelings
62. Danny: no i wasn't.
63. Counselor: well, maybe you should have been.
64. Danny: you son of a bitch. i can't believe i pay you for this shit
65. Counselor: -shrugs-
66. Danny: -sits up- my life is such a mess.
67. Counselor: -watches-
68. Danny: Why? I'm so stupid...
69. -suddenly eveything is in black and white, counselor disappears, Danny is in a prison cell-
70. Danny: Why? (yelling)
71. Danny's outcries echo off the prison walls
72. Danny: Why?
73. Danny approaches prison wall, makes his hands into fists
74. Danny: Why? -punches wall-
75. Danny: Why? - punches wall-
76. Danny: Why? Why? Why? Why? -punching wall with full force-
77. Danny: WHY? WHY? WHY?
78. Danny finally loses stamina, and falls back on the floor, sobbing
79. < >
80. the only sound is Danny sobbing
81. < >
82. suddenly a telephone rings
83. telephone: RING!
84. Danny looks up in surprise, his eyes red and his face tear-stained
85. telephone: RING!
86. Danny slowly stands up, looks around for the telephone.
87. telephone: RING!
88. Danny spots the telephone, reaches for it and picks it up.
89. Danny: Hello?
90. voice on the other end of the line: Hello Danny
91. Danny: Who is this?
92. Voice: It's Martin Scorcese
93. Danny: Martin Scorcese? why are you calling me?
94. Martin Scorcese: oh, as if you don't know.
95. Danny: -confused- I'm sorry Martin, I really don't.
96. Martin Scorcese: Come on, at least have the guts to own up it, you plagarizing bastard.
97. Danny: I don't know what you're talking about
98. Martin Scorcese: I bet you don't, son, I bet you don't.
99. momentary silence. the drip of water can be heard in the dark prison cell
100. Martin Scorcese: perhaps my friend Robert DeNiro can bring you back to your senses.
101. Danny: huh?
102. Martin Scorcese hands the phone to Robert Deniro
103. Deniro: hey i'm not gonna let some punk kid push us around. spill the beans, jerk.
104. Danny: I really don't know what you're talking about.
105. Deniro: Oh you're gonna play the fool? You gonna make me beat it out of you?
106. Danny: No! I'm sorry, i don't mean to be difficult, i just don't know what it is you want to know
107. Deniro: -leans over to Scorcese and whispers- maybe he really doesn't know
108. Martin Scorcese: give me the phone, you ape.
109. Deniro: Are you talking to me?
110. Martin Scorcese: shut up, just give me the phone.
111. Deniro: Are you talking to me? There's nobody else here, i don't see who else you could be talking to.
112. Scorcese: Give me the phone.
113. Deniro: Are you talking to me?
114. Scorcese: -takes the phone- All right kid.
115. Danny: i'm sorry. what did i do?
116. Scorcese: you totally stole that prison scene from Raging Bull.
117. Danny: Prison Scene?
118. Scorcese: oh for christ's sake. The one where you punched the walls and yelled 'WHY?'
119. Danny: oh yeah
120. Scorcese: well you totally stole that from Raging Bull.
121. Danny: Oh, sorry.
122. Scorcese: That's it? 'Oh, sorry?'
123. Danny: well, what do you want me to do?
124. Scorcese: shut up.
125. Danny: what? i'm sorry
126. Scorcese: just shut up.
127. Scorcese hangs up the phone and turns to Deniro
128. Scorcese: What a jackass.
129. Deniro: no kidding.
130. -back in the prison cell-
131. Danny: Whatever.

Comments regarding this list:

User	Date	Comment
Matthew	03/12/2004 9:50pm	w.t.f.
Danny Kryptonite	03/05/2004 1:51am	hahahahahaha
Brian	03/04/2004 10:47pm	number 81 should be higher